A dream comes true

Having a baby when you are older than 45 and have had no success with IVF in Australia. A dream comes true

My partner is 44 a good looking, tall and fit executive. Completely selfish when you have been single for so long, it is understandable he hadn’t had children yet and probably thought he had missed the boat. A friend tells me that she had used a surrogate after a tragic incident which left her unable to have more children.

I was a women with two grown up boys 22 and 18 years old. I was running my own business and having more children seemed appropriate. There were many discussions with my partner as to how we would go about this given that we were having unprotected sex for the past two years. Eventually we contacted the surrogate who was interested in helping us. We saw a fertility specialist who outlined the process to us. It was somewhat to what my friend had undergone. It seemed it had brought about tougher regulations, more lengthy delays which seemed as obstacles unnecessary for a women in my situation. Older, established with adult children so we paused our plans and pondered what other options were out there. I met another women 12 months later who shared with me re pending journey for IVF in South Africa. It was recommended to her by a reputable fertility specialist in Perth. He explained to her that because of her age >45 she would find it difficult to produce healthy eggs and as she had had a successful pregnancy and a 4 year old daughter, he thought it would be very likely with a donor egg which can be purchased from a donor site. She would be able to have another child without the need for a surrogate.

Three months later she went abroad after seeing a doctor. The eggs were fertilized with her husband’s sperm and 2 embryos were implanted. After a short time in South Africa they returned home to Australia and she gave birth to a baby boy 9 months later only one of the embryos had taken. With re invigorated interest I discussed fully with my partner, he seemed really excited and after a few weeks we to contacted the fertility clinic centre and underwent the same process. It was amazing! Everything went so smoothly. The hardest decision was making a choice of the donor, I wanted someone with the same colouring as my partner and he wanted someone that looked more like me. We then decided on a women similar to myself. A trip to South Africa for fertilization and then embryo transfer, this took just over a week. We stayed for another week to enjoy the amazing country.

I too had two embryos implanted. I asked my doctor to put three in as I was sure at my age there would be little chance for all of them to survive. My partner had always said that we should have two babies as one would become spoiled. I assumed he was joking and humoured him. I returned a few days later and had my first pregnancy test which was positive and so was the second. The doctor informed me via email that he thought it was likely that I was carrying twins as the HCG levels were so high at 8 weeks, I then had my first of many scans. It confirmed live twins. I had hoped for a girl my parent was hoping for a boy or girl. We did enquire about sex selection but we were informed that it was not offered in SA (Government regulations) feunily balancing as its referred to is available in a number of countries such as USA (not Australia).

They did however offer sex sorting, a much less likely way to get the sex you desire. The pregnancy went well I did enjoy it. My weight gain with the twins was steady surprisingly I didn’t gain anywhere near as much weight as I did with my last pregnancy almost 20 years ago. (It is amazing as I write this it still blows me away). I work in a cosmetic medical practise and my boys live interstate, a 3 hour plane trip away. I continued to work until I was 33 weeks by which time it was getting very uncomfortable. One of the babies was laying under my rib cage and breathing was painful. (I discussed having the babies at 34 – 36 weeks with my wonderful obstetrician) and cried to my partner when I returned home from the antenatal visit when he suggested I go for another week. Eventually the scan showed that one of the babies had stopped growing so it was decided to have a caesarean at 34 weeks & 5 days. An amazing experience twins, how insane. I always felt sorry for mums with twins, never knowing how they managed to care for 2 babies simultaneously.

It was surreal my partner witnessed the birth and emotional, scary experience. The babies, a boy and a girl stayed in the nursery for 2 weeks. Both loving the breast. On reflection, though I talked about having children in the privacy of my mind, I didn’t believe that I would ever have the ability to have two more babies. A miracle!

Today I think it is merely good medicine understanding fertility, excellent fertility treatments and clinicians. A place that helps couples bring about their reality and not hinder their opportunities. South Africa Fertility.

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